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Aug. 19th, 2014

Cardhouse and the Cage: The Art of Lies

Nature of the piece: theater
Universe: The Metaverse
World: Earth
ALICE, a neglected human trans-girl aged ~13, selected for abduction by a powerful fairy-lord known as the Cardmaster.
JEZEBEL, a denizen of the Cardmaster, mentor to Alice in preparation for her abduction.


The Art of LyingCollapse )

May. 26th, 2014

Cardhouse and the Cage for open canon story

In a previous post, I explained my concept for an open-canon fiction. I have decided to try it, and, after some deliberation, have at last settled upon Cardhouse and the Cage as my launching story.

read more...Collapse )

May. 7th, 2014

Compatability Worries

To continue my musings on the prospect of founding an open-canon story: yes, it is an exhilarating fantasy, but how feasible is it?

How would I find any collaborators, even to begin with, who are enough in sympathy with my particular fictional preferences to both understand and care about my stories? Because my preferences---for what fiction is, for how it works, for what purpose it serves---are very particular, and so much of the thought underlying my fiction goes towards catering to them that I can hardly imagine anyone who doesn't share those preferences being much invested in my work. For example, I prefer neither realism nor fantasy. I prefer neither escapism (unless it really is me who can escape---really escape) nor resignation to dwell upon the mundane drudgery that I already face every goddamn day. Many of my characters are highly intellectual and imaginative, but there are certain intelligence/hyper-competence tropes that I despise: I don't want to write about geniuses and superheros and magical chosen ones who are primarily remarkable in contrast to the unremarkable masses. What of those who are truly unique, fantastical, imaginative individuals---who are, upon close examination, souls worthy of fictional glorification---but who can't or just don't do anything easily remarkable in their mundane lives? I want the thrill of high fantasy/adventure without the severance from an accessible reality. I want magic to be real. This is what my fiction strives to do for me---it is an ongoing incantation, a summons, an intentional blurring of gap between imagination and reality. It addresses a particular need, and the answer I have found is very particular to me. How dare I presume that I have touched upon anything remotely useful or interesting to others? And if a person doesn't share my same desperate, pathetic need---not to escape reality, but to infuse it through and through with ghosts and fictions---then what do any of my imaginings have to offer them? How can I possibly set about finding enough people interested in this project to make it a collective undertaking?

But perhaps I dwell too intensely upon this aspect of my fiction. There are probably all manner of feasibility problems that might prove more problematic than this. Several of my friends have in fact expressed interest in my stories, and while I have no idea how much they care about or grasp my methodology and intent as described above, I would guess that they can hardly have done so to any great extent, given the patchwork scarcity and imperfection of the few fragments I've posted. Perhaps my stories could be interesting for all number of reasons---just for characters or world, say. Or perhaps I should just focus on producing a substantial quantity of material before I wander off worrying about whether anyone will be compatible with it. No way to know until I try, after all.

May. 6th, 2014

An Open-Canon Story

I mentioned in my previous post that while I very much want to share my stories with a wider audience, I am having difficulty settling on a medium. Insofar as writing goes (and that's probably my strongest suit, as I stand), novel or short story seems the most obvious choice, but something about that form fails to inspire. I imagine a story of mine as a completed novel, and in that fantasy I am indifferent happy, yet still unsatisfied. A novel would be a great deal of work to slug through for mere `indifferent happy'.

But what about the form do I dislike --- what more am I looking for? Perhaps I really will settle for nothing less than a visual story. Or perhaps words would suffice if I could find a more suitable way of sending them out to the world. I have a hunch that the problem may be my difficulty imagining readers for my work. They seem so remote, so uninspiringly passive: I hardly believe in them. I first proposed to myself that I might remedy this by posting my fictions serially online and engaging with my fandom (assuming it exists) throughout the writing process. I could be a fan and an author both---I could read fan-fiction for my own worlds. This led to a more intoxicating idea: why not just open up the canon itself to said hypothetical fandom? Why not do away with the authorial dictatorship altogether? After all, it is not that authority, that control, that I personally crave. What I want is the forum for creation.

Say I draw up the bones of a world and write a few developed fictions to set it in motion. A few places, a few times, a few people in that world spring to life, but most is still uncharted. I draw some pictures, perhaps even compose a song, and I put it all up on a website devoted to this world. I then seek out a few collaborators, and ask them to help me bring other times, other places --- other timelines, even --- for this world to life. First perhaps I share authorship with just these, but as time goes on we invite more and more co-authors into the project, until at last I deem the world substantial enough to stand on its own and remove the supports: I and my co-authors abdicate any authority over `canon'. From here on, there is only a mythological and contradictory 'fanon'. The work generated by myself and the oritinal co-authors is no more objectively canonical than anything else created for it. And so much could be created, and so swiftly! Assuming the fandom garners enough members, that is. Even if I were a Tolkien I could not rival the depth of detail, the breadth of perspective, the variance of style and talent, the sheer magnitude of material that can be churned out by fandoms working as a whole. It hardly matters that it would not all fit together perfectly. The world does not fit together perfectly. And I would continue to create for it, of course. I would moderate the forums, maintain the website or whatever --- but as a writer, as a creator, I would be merely one among many.

This is an exhilarating fantasy. This is something I could work for.

Apr. 30th, 2014

A Career More Awesome

It is old news that I do not love tutoring, but I am now increasingly aware that I actively dislike it. My perpetual uneasiness in the role and dissatisfaction with my work have become a drain on my energies and a hindrance to my development. Worse still, it short-changes my students. Whist working with them, I am a shadow of myself: I am dull, uninspired, boring, bored, apathetic, fake---I try not to be, but with so little instinct and inspiration for the job, I can only force so much. I hate that this is the face I share with the world, and I hate that my students have to put up with such a sorry excuse for a teacher.

I know I can't afford to give it up just now, but I want to start taking steps towards finding another source of income. This time, I want to be innovative rather than (blindly) following conventional wisdom regarding what is 'practical'. I don't want to end up with another bad fit. So I ask myself: How might I generate an income---even a meager one---through some means that I truly value or enjoy? Where does what I love about the world intersect with what I can do to perpetuate it? Where does The Change I Want to See intersect with what I can and like to do?

Of course, my most obvious and inescapable passion is for the arts. For a very long time I have written off an artistic career as the epitome of impractical. I even went so far as to consider professorship (as a Medieval Historian!) a more 'realistic' goal. This conception was utterly warped. Other people make things and sell them online for decent money. Other people make web-comics and pod-casts and videos that garner donations and sometimes even prove profitable. Other people make commissioned art, write commissioned stories. A creative career is not only for the famous elite.

This time, therefore, instead of dismissing all things creative from the start, I will begin my brainstorming there. No 'but that's not realistic' shutdowns allowed. Ridiculous is the limit. The following are several ideas I've had thus generated for possible ways of connecting my creative proclivities up with the world:

a list of stuff and thinksCollapse )

Yikes, this post got very long. I wanted also to explore career possibilities in non-arts areas (such as urban agriculture / permaculture, which is also SUPER INTERESTING to me), but I'm afraid I shall have to save that for a future post.

To anyone reading this: PLEASE DO TELL ME if you have any ideas to contribute. I am wracking my brains for ideas, and feel that I am still coming up short of brilliant innovation.

Apr. 25th, 2014


i step into the water and i sink
  my bones are heavy
             and they drown me deep

your skeleton is porous
  you float, you fly

i step into the ocean and i die

Mar. 11th, 2014

you know what i'm really tired of?

i'm tired of the face.

you know the one. prominent cheek bones, crisp jaw&chin, small delicate nose.

like its a nice face but its not the only face worthy of being filmed and photographed. im kind of bored of it.

Mar. 3rd, 2014

just browsing

between me and your words,
there is nothing.

tilt the page:
an abyss of two dimensions

            word  from  word

                                        line  from


                from its cause:

      i should have known.

there is no reception
in an empty page

and my eyes are too dry for poetry.

Mar. 2nd, 2014

With Our Powers Combined . . .

So I only completed 15/28 pieces for my Lazy 28 writing challenge, and Eboracum only 13. Comparing numbers, we were excited to discover that, as a team, we did in fact complete the challenge. So, I'm counting this as a win --- a win for Team Awesome. Huzzah!

Feb. 22nd, 2014

Annabel Lost: The Silence of Walls

World: Annabel Lost
Characters: Quetzal, Rhime
Context: This happens sometime soon after Not the Expert. Quetzal and Rhime (Erradian and Aetherian, respectively) were adopted as young orphans into a Quon settlement and have been living there for some years. Here they are in their teens.


The Silence of WallsCollapse )

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